Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Ho ho hold on tight!

We've survived another Christmas! Actually, this one was less stressful in many ways than years previous. Maybe it's because there were so many life-altering events in the past 12 months that Christmas pales in comparison. Or maybe it's because we have a 3-year-old for whom Christmas is very "magical", and I got to re-direct my usual holiday angst toward making his experience a good one (which it was). Or maybe it's just the meds...

In any case, we are having a good time in California amongst Dennis's family (and my in-laws, as I can now say that LEGALLY). Koby got the Fisher Price digital camera for kids--apparently the hottest toy of the season, unbeknownst to me as I tried to purchase one in December. HA!



Anyway, we managed to get one through the foster care underground railroad, and he is thrilled. Other gifts of note include steering wheels, lots of CARS THE MOVIE stuff, and DVDs (Dora, Bob the Builder). Oh what fun, it is to... be a kid with a ton of doting relatives and friends.

Every Christmas Day I reflect on my previous time in Asia, and how (before I met Dennis) Christmas was generally not such a big deal. In Japan we had the Bo-nen-kai (forget-the-year parties, which sailed us into stupefication on a sea of alcohol and hot-pot dishes), and in Korea I had my share of parties with the students I taught. But one Christmas in Asia sticks out for me: 1994--the one I spent in Vietnam with my friend and roommate Brian Clark.

In one of the last bastions of Communism, Hanoi, we went to a local disco for a Christmas party. It was incredible. There were games, dancing, and booze. And all I really remember is dancing with uniformed police officers and watching a very Vietnamese-looking Kris Kringle throw goodies out to the crowd. He was dressed in black boots, a red bathrobe with white trim--a kind of hoodie, I think--and wearing a Ho Chi Minh-looking mask. He'll forever be known to me as Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh Santa.

Ah, how life has changed. So here's hoping that everyone had a great holiday, whatever you celebrate, and to a happy and healthy 2007.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

A photo is worth 1,000 words (or 20,000 dollars)


Yes, the first pics of the wedding are now available. These are shots taken by various family members during the event. We'll be offering a PRO upgrade once the photographer's works are ready for viewing. Just click here, or on the "Our family photo album" link on the right to check them out.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Sweet victory? or just Saccharine?


Let's hope we don't end up with a bitter after-taste later, people. The media is heralding yesterday's Massachusetts Joint Session action (or delay of action) as a beacon of hope for gay marriage supporters. I certainly feel that way, but only time will tell.











Ben and I stood outside the Massachusetts Statehouse yesterday, along with a few hundred other activists, holding our placards and shouting our slogans, which included:
--Civil marriage, civil rights!
--Let the people marry!
--Separate church and state!
--They're honking for us; our cause is just!

...along with many verses of "This Little Light of Mine."





The other side, mostly composed of the 60+ crowd, held signs saying "Let the People Vote." While I can't deny that one's right to vote is a basic tenet of our Constitution, so is the notion of equal rights for all people. And civil rights are not a voting issue.


We far outnumbered the naysayers, which was even more evident as we sat in the Gardner Auditorium inside the Statehouse later that afternoon and watch live video feeds of the legislators as they made their case either for or against turning our future over to the people of Massachusetts. The sound of our applause versus theirs truly made me feel powerful, and on the side of the majority on the issue for the first time.

I wonder how many people on the "Let the People Vote" side were really FOR our marriages, but simply felt deprived of their constitutional right to help solidify our position through popular vote. Fewer than there are gay ballroom dance competitions at an AFA meeting, I'm sure.


So the Constitutional Convention will resume for its last session for this period on January 2. It's not expected that there will be a quorum present to vote on the amendment at this time. If this is the case, then the ballot initiative proposal is DEAD.

Rest in pieces.

Now my family and I can get back to being a family, and not living in a shadow of uncertainty about the status of our legal future... at least for now.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Deep breath

Sorry for such a long hiatus. There are just a few things going on in my life at the moment: getting married Oct 29, where we hosted 100 people, 10% of which were staying in our home. It was great. Then Nov 7 came the elections, and thank god we got most of what we wanted. I couldn't have imagined a better wedding gift than seeing the Republicans exit the Massachusetts governor's spot, and waving bye-bye to Rick Santorum.

Having said that, all is not rosy. Tomorrow, Nov 9, is the Consitutional Convention, or ConCon, at the MA Statehouse, and one of the HOT topics is the vote on a proposed amendment that would ban same-sex marriage in the Commonwealth. Only 25% of participants (only 50 votes) have to support this tomorrow in order for it to move to a SECOND ConCon (next year), and if THAT passes as well, the amendment will go on the public ballot in 2008 to be voted on by THE PEOPLE. ARrrghhhh.

So tomorrow, after I drop Koby off at daycare, my friend Ben and I will head to the Statehouse. Watch this space for what I hope will be some interesting photos of people screaming at each other across the street.

And keep your fingers crossed. While I've read that even if all this back-stepping comes to its horrible end with a hate-mongering constitutional amendment, supposedly MY marriage is not in harm's way. It just means that no MORE same-sex couples can marry here in the future. Gee, great.

So the Commonwealth will allow two men to adopt a child, but not have the legal protection of marriage while they're raising that child?

PLEASE. CURB YOUR DOGMA.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Leaf-peeping Tom, Dick and Harry


We braved the 0˚C overnight temps in the mountains near Stowe, Vermont. What lengths we won't go to for some quality leaf-peeping!





Koby got his chance on the tractor (Rebekah and Ben in Ohio, take note!).







Dennis got to show off his skill with the udders.











And I made a pilgrimage back to Huntington, Vermont, where I spent several months during my 8th grade year. Hadn't been here since 1979. Many things are the same, but the old Rustler's Roost is now a boarded up mess owned by some restaurateur from Burlington.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Two Libras hanging in the balance


Rebecca and Dennis turned 40 on Sunday and Monday, respectively.















We celebrated by drinking until we knew all the correct answers to the 80s game.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Back from the Southwest

We had a GREAT vacation. A quick review of the highlights of our whirlwind tour:


LAS VEGAS STRIP
A jewelry box full of rhinestones that someone has turned into an ashtray. A kaleidoscope of big hair, airbrushed, tight faces and fake boobs, together with oxygen-tank-sucking octogenarians with fingers planted firmly on the slot machine buttons.

We saw Zumanity by Cirque du Soleil. Well-done? Yes. Bawdy? Absolutely. Sexual? Slightly. Risqué? Not really. Unless you consider boobies and dirty jokes risqué. No gimps were harmed in the making of this show.



ROUTE 66
Stopped for lunch at the Road Kill Cafe in Seligman, Arizona. Their slogan--You Kill It, We Grill It. Not a vegetarian haven--even the grilled cheese sandwich was made with lard. Thank god for the salad bar.



GRAND CANYON
Absolutely grand, indeed. The early pioneers must have struggled to get here. We struggled ourselves with the brand of tourist attracted to the Grand Canyon Railway tour we took. Despite the bitchy, crochety old people on the train and the ADD-afflicted tour bus driver who told us more about herself than about the Canyon, the big hole in the ground was very impressive. I had had enough of the cheesy hotel brunch by the end of this bit of the trip. My advice? Skip the tour and do it on your own. The cowboy crooning on the train made me understand why so many were scalped back in the day.



SEDONA, ARIZONA
Although hyped up as over-touristy and overpriced, this was the highlight of our trip. We took a "Pink Jeep Tour", which had us bouncing over red rock formations and nearly knocked the chimichanga right out of me. You can go on meditation field trips to "magnetic vortices", and shop at the Metaphysical Supermarket. It's no wonder real estate prices here have skyrocketed.



BRYCE CANYON
After a long drive through Navajo country into Utah, we spent a day at Bryce, full of its famous hoodoo rock formations. Gorge-ous.



ZION NATIONAL PARK
Stayed at the Pioneer Lodge Motel, which was much better than expected. Good food, great views, easy access to tacky souvenirs and a free shuttle into the park. The park itself was wondrous, and I'd like to go back when I can hike some of it.


It was a great trip overall, bookended by some of the most breathtaking views I've ever seen in America on one side, and some of the nastiest tourists I've seen on the other. Like all places, the good and the bad intermingle, but in the end, it was an unforgettable experience, and introduced me to places I'd like to go back to again and again.

Check out our family album for more pics.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Ignorance by any other name...

I couldn't resist bringing this 1996 article by Eric Zorn from the Chicago Tribune straight over to my blog from another. I am not surprised by its existence--more frightened by the short-sightedness of individuals in today's world of sound-byte news, so easily forgetting recent history.

The article:

-----------------------------------------
MARRIAGE ISSUE JUST AS PLAIN AS BLACK AND WHITE
5-19-96

Statement No. 1: Same-sex marriage must be forbidden, said the Republican senator from Wisconsin, "simply because natural instinct revolts at it as wrong." No. 2. An organization opposed to gay marriage claimed legalizing them would result in "a degraded and ignoble population incapable of moral and intellectual development," and rested this belief on the "natural superiority with which God (has) ennobled heterosexuals."

No. 3. "I believe that the tendency to classify all persons who oppose gay marriage as 'prejudiced' is in itself a prejudice," grumped a noted psychologist. "Nothing of any significance is gained by such a marriage."

No. 4. A U.S. representative from Georgia declared that allowing gay marriages "necessarily involves (the) degradation" of conventional marriage, an institution that "deserves admiration rather than execration."

No. 5. "The next step will be that gays and lesbians will demand a law allowing them, without restraint, to . . . have free and unrestrained social intercourse with your unmarried sons and daughters," warned a Kentucky congressman. "It is bound to come to that. There is no disguising the fact. And the sooner the alarm is given and the people take heed, the better it will be for our civilization."

No. 6. "When people of the same sex marry, they cannot possibly have any progeny," wrote an appeals judge in a Missouri case. "And such a fact sufficiently justifies those laws which forbid their marriages."

No 7. Same-sex marriages are "abominable," according to Virginia law. If allowed, they would "pollute" America.

No 8. In denying the appeal of a same-sex couple that had tried unsuccessfully to marry, a Georgia court wrote that such unions are "not only unnatural, but . . . always productive of deplorable results," such as increased effeminate behavior in the population. "They are productive of evil, and evil only, without any corresponding good . . . (in accordance with) the God of nature."

No. 9. A gay marriage ban is not discriminatory, reasoned a Republican congressman from Illinois, because it "applies equally to men and women."

No. 10. Attorneys for the state of Tennessee argued that such unions should be illegal because they are "distasteful to our people and unfit to produce the human race. . . ." The state supreme court agreed, declaring gay marriages would be "a calamity full of the saddest and gloomiest portent to the generations that are to come after us."

No. 11. Lawyers for California insisted that a ban on same-sex marriage is necessary to prevent "traditional marriage from being contaminated by the recognition of relationships that are physically and mentally inferior. . . . (and entered into by) the dregs of society."

No. 12. "The law concerning marriages is to be construed and understood in relation to those persons only to whom that law relates," thundered a Virginia judge in response to a challenge to that state's non-recognition of same-sex unions. "And not," he continued, "to a class of persons clearly not within the idea of the legislature when contemplating the subject of marriage."

To sum up: Legal recognition of such marriages would offend tradition, God, the sensibilities of the majority and the natural order while threatening conventional marriage, children and the future of our civilization.

The quotes are culled from a Boston University Law Review article and a brief filed with the U.S. Supreme Court, though I did take the minor liberty of changing the subject of the strangled rage, fear and righteous indignation.

Everywhere I quoted the speakers referring to same-sex marriage, homosexuality and heterosexuality, they were actually referring to interracial marriage and their views of black people, white people and the proper interaction thereof. And yes, that includes statement No. 6, which in original form articulated the old white supremacist belief that offspring of whites and blacks were--like mules that result when horses mate with donkeys--sterile.

The quotes date from 1823 to 1964 and, though the sentiments look hatefully ridiculous to us in 1996, they had sufficient appeal and staying power that 15 states still criminalized black-white marriage until the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously overturned those laws in the appropriately named 1967 case, Loving vs. Virginia.

Those whose unaltered words today resemble statements 1 through 12 above, take note. The stench is familiar. The future is listening.

-----------------------------------------

Heaven help us.

Monday, September 04, 2006

For the wonder of it all


We went to Foxwoods Casino and Resort yesterday. It's only an hour and a half from Boston, but for some reason we hadn't made it there yet. And at the age of 39, it was my first official casino visit, believe it or not. I saw every cliche known to casino lore there--grandmas and grandpas in wheelchairs and pushing walkers. The only thing I didn't see was someone with an oxygen tank, although I almost needed one myself from all the smoke.

Is this what Vegas looks like? Yes, Dennis assures me, this is a small taste-test of what to expect Sept 16-17 when we're out west. I think we'll take Koby to Circus Circus for the shows, which should be marginally more entertaining than watching the various octogenarians doing a bicep workout on the slot machines.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

And baby makes three... FINALLY



We've been waiting for it for 503 days. That's how long it's been since we met Koby.

Now he's ours, forever and ever.

God save the great Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Estate of panic


Well, let's hope not, anyway. This is where we're aiming to hold the ceremony and reception--the Henderson House in oh-so-posh Weston, Massachusetts. God bless the Bay State and its lovely English manors.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Two boys tying the knot--and not for a merit badge


Now that Dennis has his green card, we can FINALLY plan our wedding. We've been together for 10 1/2 years, so it's not like I have the jittery thrill of a woman who's been thumbing through Bride magazine since she was 7 years old. But I do want the legal recognition, that's for sure. And the fact that I get to do it with a big party in front of my family and friends is a big bonus.

Within 48 hours I was able to scout a potential location--I think that's the hard part. We're going in for interviews with the catering staff, etc., next week. Why some people spend 10 months (or more!) planning these things is still a puzzle to me. We've got 10 weeks, and between now and then I'll be traveling to London, Athens, Las Vegas, Mexico City, Guadalajara, and the Brazilian Amazon, but strangely I don't feel stressed--YET.

Since marriage became legal in Massachusetts in May 2004, over 8000 couples have wed. Yet strangely, we never got invited to any of those, so we're having to wing it. There are officiants you can hire (we're doing this without a wedding planner, though I suppose I could rent that film), who can help you design a ceremony that fits your lifestyle and works in various bits from your own cultural background. I wonder if I can find someone to put together a Filipino-Mennonite-Gay-Catholic-Buddhist wedding service. I'm open to suggestions...

What we HAVE decided is that we're going to wear our traditional Filipino barongs. My next quest--a cake topper that features two men--one white, one Asian--dressed in barong tagalog. I love a challenge.

No rabbit's foot required


It's been quite a week. What can I say? On Aug 7:

1. We found out that we can adopt Koby officially Aug 24.

2. Dennis got his green card (he's only been in process since 1994).

3. I got a raise at work.

I'm going to start buying lottery tickets every Aug 7 from now on.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Peaches are not the only fruit


Perry McGuire. Related to the "show-me-the-money" guy from that Tom Cruise movie? No. He's a Georgia Republican running for Attorney General. Now, Georgia is many miles away from me, and why should I care? My fondest memory of Georgia was a night at Blake's (in Atlanta) in 1992, where I got to watch a bunch of draq queens SING (and not lipsynch) gospel music during their Sunday evening "service." Mixing those sounds with the image of huge sweaty singers, and 200 queers waving cocktail napkins back and forth in unison was as close to organized religion as I wanted to get in the 90s.

Now enter Perry. According to his bio, number one on his mission statement is to "Hunt down and prosecute sexual predators to better protect Georgia’s children and families." I guess that's what he had in mind when he recently stated that he was disappointed with a Georgia state court ruling that a GSA (gay-straight alliance) could continue to meet in a high school in Cleveland, Georgia.

Agape Press, the journalist arm of the AFA, reports:

-------------------------------------------------------------------
McGuire, a former corporate attorney and one-time state senator, feels the court's ruling in this case has turned the Equal Access Act on its head. "I think the problem here, and I think where the court substantially erred, is that the intent of the Act was never to allow organizations that advocate illegal activity [to have campus access]," he says. "And in Georgia, sex between minors is illegal; statutory rape laws apply."

GSAs and their ilk should be denied access to school campuses, the AG candidate says, because they promote activities that are against the law. Allowing such groups is "much like allowing a pedophile club or a gambling club to meet at school," he contends.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, I can feel the love, Perry. Now if you're REALLY serious about this, you should try to ban Future Farmers of America (they might grow some illegal herbs), the Debate team (treasonous arguments could erupt), the Foreign Language Club (they erode the legitimacy of English as a superior and required language for all Americans), and all sports teams which feature a cheerleading squad at their games (for obvious reasons) or which require same-sex showers after practice (I'll refrain from giving you a visual).

People For the American Way Deputy Legal Director Judith E. Schaeffer condemned McGuire’s comments.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
“Gay-straight alliances exist to create safe, supportive environments for gay and lesbian students who all too often are victims of bullying and discrimination, to combat harassment and discrimination, and to provide information. To suggest that they exist to advocate illegal activity is just plain wrong. It’s an attempt to appeal to bigotry and exploit Georgia teens for political gain,” Schaeffer said.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

So if you live in Georgia, or know someone who does, please drop a note, and tell them to use their vote.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

10 reasons why gay marriage should be illegal

I found this on a UK-based blog, but it comes to us via a craigslist user in Portland, OR...

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Re-post this if you believe love makes a marriage.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Know thy neighbor indeed


Here's a website I just heard about today from a nice couple we met last week--Dennis and Jim. They have a little boy named Joshua who is exactly Koby's age. We sat around and ate lunch, talked about potty training and daycare while the kids frolicked in the inflatable pool. Anyway, check out this site.

KnowThyNeighbor.org is a grassroots, non-profit organization promoting dialogue on marriage equality in Massachusetts and advocating for the removal of governmental barriers to public information by providing meaningful access online.

If you can read this

日本語でもできるのか?これが読めたらお返事くださいね。

Friday, July 28, 2006

I said "cheese," not "cheesy"


We had had as much as we could by this point. It was time to go home.

No sight of Jake or Heath


Dining at the Brokeback Mountain cafe

Just like riding a bike


My brother will be so proud to see me on a bike, even if I do look more like Suburban Hausfrau than Speed Racer.

Survivor: Freeport, Maine


Damn the rain! OK, everybody to their positions. Tarp? Check. Big pink umbrella? Check.

Baby on Board--and he's driving


Only 13 more years, little man...

No love lost with the AFA


Believe it or not, the following is copied verbatim from the American Family Association website:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Does AFA Hate Homosexuals?
Absolutely Not! The same Holy Bible that calls us to reject sin, calls us to love our neighbor. It is that love that motivates us to expose the misrepresentation of the radical homosexual agenda and stop its spread though our culture. AFA has sponsored several events reaching out to homosexuals and letting them know there is love and healing at the Cross of Christ.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Radical? Agenda? Indeed! If we are radical, the AFA is certainly more so. The AFA, along with many other right-wing organizations using religion as their recruitment platform, is waging war against "Our Agenda." What is the agenda, you ask? Well, here it is. Get on your workboots, Myrtle. It's going to be a long day.

6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 pm Brunch

2:00 pm
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local
Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian
and Jamaican drug cartels,
5) Establish planetary chain of "homo breeding gulags" where over-medicated, imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the
exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 pm Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from
stress of world conquest
4:00 pm Cocktails
6:00 pm Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 pm Theater
11:00 pm Bed

So, I guess I should comfort in the fact that the AFA "loves" me so much. It just doesn't love my family.

Be careful of the horns


This won't make the green card come any faster, Dennis.

Finally, the drapes match the carpet


I've seen Christopher with every hairstyle known to man or beast (literally). But this one takes the cake. Seriously, though, it's for a good cause (I should hope so!). Check out this link to make a donation.

Camping is not just about being campy


Why is everyone in Boston so surprised that I know how to camp?